A NICKNAME FOR MOMS?

The Great One.  When I first heard those three words I assumed it was a reference to the person who invented hot fudge sauce, or maybe the dishwasher.  No.  In fact the phrase "The Great One" refers to Wayne Gretzky, one of the best (obviously) hockey players of his time and probably of all time.    Gretzky played for the LA Kings for much of his career and scored lots and lots of goals, had hundreds of assists, blah, blah, blah.  Still, why does he get to be "The Great One?"  Has he ever fed a baby, while making a peanut butter sandwich for his three year old, while talking on the phone?  I doubt it.  But most moms have done that, and more, all at the same time.

Sweetness?  Not that cute redhead from the early 70's hit Family Affair.  Sweetness refers to Walter Payton - running back for the Chicago Bears.  He was so smooth avoiding the defense he became known as "Sweetness."  What about all those times we moms check on our kids at 2 am to see if the fever has returned?  That's pretty sweet isn't it?
There  are dozens of sports nicknames out there, so many it started to make me crazy.  Why not me?  Why not all moms??  I really would like to be known as some phrase that details what I get done during the course of a week, let alone in a single day!  Still though, it seemed like all the good names were taken.  "Chief" was already dedicated to Robert Parish from the Celtics Basketball team and he earned that name because of his stoic nature.  Seriously - has he ever given the last piece of cake away to his mother-in-law?   "Magic" Johnson's real first name is actually Earvin, but he became "Magic" during his years in the NBA.  Sure, he could play a great game of basketball, but could he hide broccoli in a cheeseburger just to make sure his kids got their veggies?

Clearly "mean" would have been an option if my kids had to pick for me, because I get mean every time I find the wet bath towels on the bedroom floor.  Sadly, that too is already taken by Joe Green from the amazing "Iron Curtain" defensive line of the Pittsburgh Steelers.  
  

So I decided to come up with a name that hadn't been used.   "Human juggler" certainly had the right tone, suggesting all of the things we moms handle at any one time, but I didn't want to be picked up by a circus who thought I could actually juggle humans.  "The Amazing One" almost hit the nail on the head, but it felt like too much of a copycat off of Gretzky, and I feared someone would morph it into "The Amazon One" once they got a look at the size of my thighs. 

I tried all different things.  Numbers and letters,  exclamation points, just a symbol (like Prince in the 90's) - nothing seemed to fit.  Then it hit me, the perfect combination of letters, the only possible way to fully describe the amazing job we all do - Mom. 

 

JJA/July 8, 2014