SUMMER TENNIS - THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY

So I am just wrapping up my 11^th season of TAIL tennis in Northwest Ohio.    I’m not 100 percent what TAIL stands for, but probably something like Tennis Association Independent League.   Or, Totally Awesome Incredible Ladies.  One or the other, I’m not sure.  Our TAIL league is really a lot of fun.   Most of the gals on my team play in the summers only, and so we take a regular beating from the clubs around town that play all year.  

Still, it is great exercise, usually followed by wine and snacks so that you can assuredly replace any calories lost during the match.  

Over the years, I have discovered some general irritations that I am constantly trying to figure out how to resolve.  Anyone who can help, please chime in at any time.

First off, what is the proper way to call the ball out.  By proper, I mean, the least offensive.  I have heard everything from, “Out.” To “Long” to “No” to “just out” to the now popular pointing of the finger straight into the air.  This last one somehow gets me the most.  The gals who prefer to use the pointed finger often overdue the pointing.  I played against a gal a few weeks ago and every time she called the ball out I immediately looked into the sky because I thought she had she had seen a UFO!  And what about when you disagree with a call.  I have seen plenty balls land in after the opponent has already called it out.  It isn’t ladylike to flip the bird, but there has to be a way to let the other gal know you are on to her tactics.

Secondly, it is very, very rude to tell your opponent you just started playing tennis right after you have won the match.  I wish I had a camera to have seen the look on my face several time when the gal I had just lost to said, “This is only my second match!”  Sure, I would spend the evening hoping she would wake up with a third eyeball, which isn’t very nice either, but at least I didn’t actually say it!

Beyond line calls, I have developed a few ways to get into the head of the opposing player.  You too can use these tactics to strengthen the mind game, so to speak.  So even if your opponent plays seven days a week, you can usually grab a game here and there by use of the following:

1.  Opponent hits a great serve and you return it for a winner.  You say, “GREAT SERVE!”  Now your opponent is immediately confused.  She knows she hit a great serve but you just handed it back to her with some attitude.  She won’t know whether to keep using her great serve or simply begin tapping the ball into your court.  It might not last long, but take advantage while you can.

2.  Opponent hits a great serve and you swing and barely touch it.  Now, look at your racquet like you are looking for a secret hiding place.  Turn it over a few times, stare right at the strings.  Move some of the strings around.  Sneeze.  Anything to get your opponent irritated enough to send her next serve right into the net. 

3.  When switching sides, ask your opponent if she feels well.  “You look so pale.”  “Do you want me to get you a Gatoraid?”  “I hope you are not getting that virus that is going around.”  This is a dirty tactic I admit, and only to be used in the most desperate of situations, but  desperate times call for desperate measures.

All in all, I love TAIL tennis in the summer.  Nothing says summer like a warm night, matching tennis outfits, close calls, and a glass of pinot when it is all over.