Football4Moms

AN INTERESTING GAME OF CHESS

There is an amazing thing happening at my house now that winter is here.  I would call it the coat exchange.  My children (three boys, ages 13, 16, and 19) will all walk in through the mud room, wearing their winter coats, and then place them gently upon one or another of our kitchen chairs.  I, routinely, will take the coats and hang them back in the mud room where they belong.  Next time out, the boys obviously find their coats in the mud room, wear them out, and then upon returning home, place them again on a kitchen chair.  It is

almost like we are playing a game of chess, and that the strategic placement of the coats is each of our moves.  Joey puts his coat on the end chair. I return it to the center hook in the mud room.  He returns from the mall, and places it on the side chair closest to the sliding glass door.  I return it to the lower last hook near the shoe rack.  Every move is critical to outsmarting the other – but for what purpose??

I know, I know – a better mom would have already trained these boys to PUT THINGS WHERE THEY BELONG!  Believe me, I tried that for years.  I would demand a quarter for each time a book bag was left on the kitchen floor or a towel left on a bedroom floor.  I had pie charts and graphs to demonstrate who was the tidiest and who the messiest.   No one cared.  I’ve made threats, pleas, begged and barked for some relief from the daily pick up after  life.  Still nothing. 

Add to that the fact that we just enjoyed the holidays.  Christmas really is one of my favorites, except for the opening of packages.  I’m not talking about gift wrap,  I’m talking about the packages.  Every item comes with plastic, wiring, some cardboard, and for clothing, tags.  Now we have a waste basket in our house, several actually.    Nonetheless, when these three open a package, no matter where, the packaging remains right where the item was opened.   Living room coffee table, yes; family room on the carpet, yes; kitchen island, yes yes yes!!  Tags on the bedroom floor – right next to the wastebasket – absolutely yes (along with that little plastic tag thing that makes me crazy)   I am relieved none of them open packages in the bathroom, because cleaning those areas presents challenges of their own. 

I have tried being the mean mother, dragging the guilty coat owner up from the basement in the middle of an intense game of Madden ’14, just to make him hang up his coat.  That’ll teach him!  I always think.  But just when I think I have made my point,  I usually turn around and trip over someone’s size 13 tennis shoes.  It isn’t working.  So, this year, I just decided to keep putting the coats back out in the mudroom, throwing away their droppings, remaining calm, and focus on bigger issues, like be kind to my neighbor and DON’T PUT ME IN A NURSING HOME SOMEDAY OR I WILL HAUNT YOU.

So the other day as I’m passing and picking up a coat off of the chair, I am stunned – another coat lying beneath.  Check Mate Mom – I am beat.